Today’s reading, brings up an interesting, yet not all that novel situation. We see two people in a committed relationship, but one of them is focused on one thing more than the actual relationship – monetary wealth. From the outside looking in, this type of situation can elicit different reactions – from “if that’s the worst of it, then they should consider themselves lucky, there are worst things than being taken care of” to “money isn’t everything, you need more in a relationship to be happy.” But what about on the inside?
Kirkpatrick (2020) refers to marrying for money as a safety marriage in When Marrying for Money is Right: How to Marry Rich, but mentions this is just one type of alternative marriage agreement. While initially the idea may be off-putting for some, Kirkpatrick’s (2020) approach of “there’s no shame in the game” when it comes to wanting to marry rich, makes a valid point in that this is essentially an age-old practice. A point that is at times easily forgotten since this practice has fallen out of favor. But has it?
There were very real and valid reasons why many years ago someone would focus on (or even be forced into) a safety marriage instead of one for love. The question is, have those reasons disappeared for people presently? Some would argue they just aren’t as freely discussed anymore.
In an age where love is encouraged as the main reason (if not the only) to marry someone else, Greene (2019) highlights the dark side to this type of safety agreement in I Married for Money. Here’s Why I Regret It. What is most touching about this account is that emotionally Greene (2019) felt empty. This agreement turned into one where the ROI was lacking. Towards the end, Greene (2019) mentions they married wanting a partner. And herein lies the rub. Things didn’t turn out the way they expected, but what if someone goes into the safety marriage with no other expectations than being financially secure?
Maybe you can have it all, maybe you pick what matters most to you, maybe it works out. All we know for sure is that we can’t judge unless we are right there in it too.